You Probably Don't Know.

You probably don't know:

-How much I miss you.
-That I can't really make my own decisions. Seriously. If somebody asks me what I want for lunch if we're out, I can't answer. Because what if the other person isn't in the mood for what I am?
-I don't like to make other people mad. So I let them choose.
-I hate it when somebody is upset with me.
-I have to make other people feel better before I make myself feel better.
-I spray my pillow with his cologne every night before I go to sleep.
-I sometimes sleep in his shirt when I get the chills.
-How much I hate fighting like this.
-That I wish I could help you, but you won't let me.
-That I cry when I get frustrated or angry. And then I get angrier when I let you see me cry, so I cry more.
-I'm a little unsure about my future, and that makes me mad. Because it's not very sexy for a girl to be unsure.
-I love to write in my journal, but sometimes my hand gets too tired to, so I play solitaire instead.
-I check my e-mail everyday, hoping to hear from you.
-I HATE it when people spell my name wrong.
-I miss high school memories, but I'm ready and excited about my future.
-I'm more responsible than you think.
-Driving only scares me if I'm in the car with my dad.

But most of all, I bet you don't know that I love you so much.I love you more than anything. I say it all the time, but I'm sorry.You probably don't know the whole story. You probably won't listen to me, even if I tried to tell you.I wish you knew. I wish you'd listen. I wish you'd understand that I didn't mean to hurt you.I wish you'd let me do things. I wish I didn't have to choose.Because I do it for you.I do it for us. You probably don't know that.