Sorry So Long.

Um, wow. It's definitely been a while.
I mean: HOLY CRAP IT'S BEEN TWO AND A HALF MONTHS since I've written on here.
Seriously, though. Nobody reads my posts anyway, so what's the point?

Ah well, I enjoy it.

The past two months have been weird. That's the only word I can come up with to sum up everything that's happened.

Let's see:
After the anniversary, Kevin was nothing but lovey-dovey. It was a different, but very cool adjustment. I don't mean that as, "Gosh, he's never romantic!" Just ... he hadn't been in a while.

I remember having a conversation with him quite a few times about our relationship. At one point I didn't think I could handle it anymore. And, on the other end of the spectrum, I was head over heels in love with him. Which is not to say that I'm not still in love with him. Because I totally am. I swear. It's just, you know, he's a boy.

We talked about our future together, and how we want things to work out. Not only solely between us, but just everything in life to ... come together. It doesn't seem as though things will come together soon, sadly.

We got into a couple of arguments, of course. But none of them were so intense to send me over the edge.

Not that this has anything to do with an argument, but I remember one day in particular in June when Kevin came over to my house. He had a school project to do that entailed pictures on a posterboard. He had to come up with a Mission Statement and talk about what he really wanted out of life. He wrote that he'd always wanted to be a rockstar, no matter how silly that may sound to anybody else. He came over to my house to take pictures of the two of us, because the other thing he wants out of life is to have a family and live comfortably. We took pictures of the house as well as us out by our pool in the backyard.
Later, we were in my room together and as he looked around, he said, "So, where is your Twilight poster?" I told him, "I don't have one. As you can see, there is no room for one." After taking pictures of the house and us inside and outside of it, he went back outside and went to his car while I was sitting in the grass in the front yard. He came back in my direction with a poster that he had bought the day before. It, of course, was of Twilight. He was just trying to trick me and make sure that I didn't have a poster before he gave it to me.
We sat in the grass for a long time until the feeling of the grass blowing against his arms finally got to him; it feels like bugs crawling to me, so I wasn't surprised.

Anyway, Kev is on his way up to The School Zone.
I better get going :]

-Lindsay

THREE YEARS!!!

As most of you know (because I never shut up about something I'm excited about), my three year anniversary with Kevin was yesterday.

Now, I remember on April 1st, I had asked my dad if I could have the 28th off. I begged and pleaded; I even marked the store callendar to make sure he didn't forget. On the 27th, as I said, Dad had told me he wanted me to work on our anniversary. I was SO MAD, I even told Mom, "I can't believe he's making me work!" Remember? I was fuming by that morning, and couldn't believe he would make me work!! But, I guess that's life. And besides, I was looking forward to being able to see him that night, anyway. So I got up, I put on my beautiful shirt that I had bought myself from Buckle, put on some makeup, and walked out the door positive about the day ahead of me. It was, after all, my THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY :]

I had made Kevin a scrapbook consisting of the MySpace conversations between us the first week that we basically knew each other. You know, the messages that say "Hey, I think I like you," and lead to (that week, anyway) "We should go on a date." I thought it was special and something he could laugh at, something that would make him smile, and most of all, remind him of how we met, three years ago.


I brought it along with me when Dad and I went to work. For some reason, we left at 8:30 that morning. I had been WAY too excited to sleep until 8:00 (like usual) and I woke up at 6:30 instead. So we had plenty of time to get ready and leave early because Dad had woken up early too. We were in the car, on our way to work, and I got a call from Kevin. I was shocked that he was up that early, and he said he was doing homework and just waking up. When we got to the store, Dad opened up; turned on the computer, turned on the laminator and the radio. Then he glanced at the clock and said, "I thought it was a quarter to 10:00, not 9:00!" For some reason, I had a sneaking suspicion that he had really known what time it was all along. I don't know, maybe it was my still-wishful-thinking that they both had something up their sleeve to surprise me.

Dad kept asking about the scrapbook, and I said it was for Kevin. He asked if since it was so early, I wanted to go to drop it off at Kevin's house to say Happy Anniversary before work, then we could go to Wal-Mart. I said sure, and we locked up the shop. We headed over to Wal-Mart first, and I got batteries for my camera. We got snacks for the store and other things, too.

Afterwards, Dad drove to Kevin's house and parked in the driveway. I got out of the truck and told him I'd be right back, not worrying about my purse or anything; just the scrapbook. When I ran up the sidewalk and pressed my ear to the front door, I could hear music coming from inside. I rang the doorbell twice anyway, just incase anyone else was home; I didn't want to go barging in! But after nobody came to the door, I walked inside myself. I was greeted by the wonderful smell of bacon and eggs. I walked around the corner and hugged Kevin. When we parted, I crossed my arms and glared at him, smirking at the same time. He kissed me, told me Happy Anniversary, and told me to sit down. My first thought was My dad's outside. So I went outside and saw the truck still in the driveway. I walked up to it and crossed my arms again. I couldn't believe they surprised me! They did, after all, have something up their sleeves! My dad smiled and said, "Ahh, we got you good!" and handed me my purse through the car window. He told me he'd see me later, and drove away. I went back in the house and watched Kevin cook for me. He made scrambled eggs, bacon, and pancakes. Breakfast was delicious and the most amazing surprise. I gave Kevin the scrapbook of our MySpace conversations and he laughed about each page, reminiscing on our life three years before.

Our fun-filled morning finally came to a close when his dad came home at around noon. I was dropped off at The School Zone and Kevin had to go to school at 1:00. I basically stayed in the back room for the rest of the day, until it was time to close the shop. My dad went out to eat with my mom and her friends for some school function they were having. So I was to lock up at the end of the day.

Kevin's family is always having issues with who gets what car for what day, and Kevin's brother Chris is always getting Kevin's car because he has school every day, all day long. It came to be 5:45, and I called Kevin to see if he had his car so I could be picked up by the time I got off work, at 6:00. Lo and behold, though, he didn't, and he had to wait for someone to get home, since he was home by himself at the time. Once his dad got home, though, he was told he wasn't allowed to take out his dad's car. Nor was he allowed to take out his mom's car when she got home. Yeah, I was pissed. Because then somehow it became MY fault that Kevin and I couldn't go out because I DON'T DRIVE.
Oh look, there's some of Lindsay's self-esteem. Oh! And there it goes! Bye-bye Lindsay's self-esteem!

So I kept calling my parents at the restaurant that they had been at since 4:00. Dad kept telling me that he could be at the shop in 10 minutes so he could pick us off and drop us off at Southlake. But I didn't want my dad to drop me off; I had to figure out a way to get Kevin and me out there by ourselves. So I sat on the counter after 6:00, after closing down the shop, turning off the lights, and locking the door from the inside so nobody would come inside. I had the phone pressed to my ear, talking to Kevin about everything from where we wanted to eat (a tie between Italian Bistro and Campania's Pizza and More) to what movie we wanted to see afterwards. Since Kevin's present to me was making breakfast for me, I wanted to take him out and pay for anything he wanted to do. But reality set in, and the time seemed to fly by, as it rarely does at The School Zone, and suddenly it was 7:00, 7:15, 7:30, and my anger got the best of me. I hung up with Kevin and called my dad to tell him what was going on and to beg him to take us to Southlake. They both left, went to go pick up Kevin, then came to pick me up from the shop. We were dropped off at the front, and then they left us. Kevin and I went to Campania's for supper, as we went there last year, and thought it would be a good tradition to begin. Alas, the bad events continued: when we asked for the rooftop seating, the waitress told us the rooftop was closed, due to the apparent rain we were supposed to be getting. We tried to make the best of it, and ordered Fettucini Alfredo. When our order came, though, it wasn't alfredo noodles, oh no, it was SPAGHETTI noodles. How dumb is that? Plus, it was super expensive, for some reason, and really gross, honestly. I paid, and we left. We went to go buy movie tickets, and found a showing for "I Love You, Man" at 9:15. I thought about it, and most movies are around two hours long. I didn't want my dad to have to come pick us up at 11:30. I called Dad and he said that it would be okay, since it was our anniversary, and he felt bad that Kevin's parents wouldn't let him drive.

Kevin and I walked around Southlake for a while before the movie started. Once it got to be around 9:00, we went back to the theater. I was very skeptical about this movie, though. I mean, really. It's about a guy who's getting married and doesn't have any guy friends, so he has to find the right guy to be his Best Man at his wedding. So he goes on a bajillion "bro-dates" and it just keeps getting weirder and weirder with each guy; one thinks he's gay, one IS gay, and the guy he ends up finding is a lonely bachelor who thinks girls are dumb. But I mean, to tell you the truth, that movie was AMAZING. It was hilarious and I could not stop laughing to save my life. I swear, every two minutes at least had a funny moment.

Us at the Movie Theater :]

It came to be the end of the movie, and I called my dad to let him know it was over. He told me he was sitting in his truck outside of the theater, and had been for quite some time. Apparently the movie had run over a little bit. So we both got in the back seat, and I had to regrettably tell him good-bye, goodnight, and Happy Anniversary one more time.

All in all, it was an amazing day.

I can't wait for year four :]

Three Years, Part 1

Not much to say tonight. Just that I'm SO EXCITED about mine and Kevin's three year anniversary tomorrow :]
I'm a little upset, though, that Dad wants me to work tomorrow morning because of some little "errand" he has to run that he won't tell me about. Wonder what it is. Also, I'm a little upset that Kevin has school from 1:00 to 5:00, and I work from 10:00 to 6:00...so we're not hanging out until AFTER 6:00, more than likely. So that's what, four hours? Whoop-tee-doo. That's like every OTHER date we go on. So how is this special? I guess because, well, it IS our anniversary, after all. I just can't help but wonder if Kevin (and my dad) have a little more planned than what they're letting on. I hope so...Kevin needs to work on the whole "surprising me" thing, so I wonder if he has a little something up his sleeve. :]

Anywho- I'm exhausted. Mom, Dad, and I moved around my room yesterday. So I think I moved four pieces of furniture. Whew, my back hurts, my shoulders hurt...but I'm a weenie, what can I say?
But my room looks SO GOOD. In my opinion, anyway.

So, goodnight :]

Burn it to the Ground.

Yesterday was probably the worst day I've had in a long time. And it all hit me last night, around 10:30. I don't know what set me off, but there were a million things at once being thrown in my face. I had a history test yesterday and did nothing but study all day long. Kevin came by to visit, which I was happy about because he looked so hot in his new shirt :] But I'm trying to decide where I want to go from here, and what's in store for me for the next five years. I don't know where I want to go to college after NCTC. I don't know if I want to transfer now, or later. I don't know if I'll ever amount to anything, honestly. I feel like everyone around me is moving forward, and I'm standing still. I feel like I'm losing those most important to me. Then again, if they were important enough, they'd stick around, right? But who am I to tell them to stay by my side? It's not their fault they're more successful than I am. I don't know...I just want to BE somebody. And I know that I'm the only one that can make that happen. I know that in order for me to have the life I want, I have discipline myself. I have to write some of my book everyday. I have to do something that scares me everyday, you know, like Mia? (Princess Diaries.) I have to get behind the wheel of a car. I have to get my self confidence up somehow. Because that's not very sexy at all for me to have low self esteem. I want to be sexy, dangit. I want people to look up to me and say "Wow, she's so lucky. I wish I could be just like her." I mean, not in the way like I'm this hot pop star who's stuck up and I want people to be jealous of me. I mean, it'd be nice if SOMEONE out there were jealous of me. But I doubt anyone would ever be.

Anyway, I let Kevin have it last night. On our phone conversation before bed, I screamed and cried and just let it all out. It's not that I'm ashamed of the person I am. It's just...I wish I had achieved more by now. I wish I could go through the every day experiences that everyone else sees as normal. Like going to a job every day. No, a normal job. Not a job where your dad is the boss. I've never had a NORMAL job.

So, after getting off of the phone with Kevin, I finally fell asleep. And I had (to top my horrible day off) the most horrible dream I think I've ever had. Kevin came with my family on a trip, we went to North Carolina. So my grandparents were there with my parents and then there were me and Kev. He was lovey-dovey through the whole night...but then we got in a fight. And he broke up with me. So I kept having to escape suppers and lunches and all of the fun family times to go to the bathroom so I could cry. I couldn't stop crying and I knew I never would. I was just so ... sad. And I know that's a dumb way to put because, well, obviously. But if I think that I've had my heart broken before, I don't want to know what my heart would feel like if he walked away. It was just so strange in the dream; Kevin kept wanting to be there, he kept being lovey-dovey. He wouldn't leave me alone. And I didn't get why he would just break up with me, then pretend nothing ever happened. We talked about it in the dream (our break-up) and he said he didn't want to get back together any time soon, but maybe later in life. I screamed at him more and more and lashed out so many times. "You said forever!" I kept throwing in his face. Then I woke up early this morning, crying again, because I thought that the dream was real. I couldn't control the tears and I can't imagine a life without him.

I don't know. Maybe God is trying to show me how much I would miss him if he left. How much my life would suck without him. I've had people walk out of my life for the past few years, and I've never been so upset. I mean, maybe once, of course. But I'm so, so, so thankful for those people who are still in my life.

I Need You Right Now.

Turns out, I made myself sicker by going out with Kevin. Man, I feel like the worst best friend ever. :[ I ended up not going to Cassie's last night, and I'm not hanging out with her today. I wish I could see her...I miss her so much. I just felt so bad last night; my stomach hurt and I couldn't breathe through my nose and I kept coughing and sneezing...good times. I asked her if I could just go over there last night, but not spend the night. It didn't work out, though.

But come to find out, a mixture of Nyquil and sinus medication is the perfect mixture! I was knocked out pretty fast, but then woke up in the middle of the night with a pain in my back and shoulders and couldn't go back to sleep. I wished so much that Kevin had a cell phone because I wanted to call him.

Today's a boring day, as every Sunday seems to be. I guess not so much boring as it is lazy. This morning, I ate my cereal and watched TV. I tape Fringe every week, but I've never seen an episode. So I watched the one from a few weeks ago, but I forgot one small, very important detail: American Idol had run over, so the whole show of Fringe wasn't taped. :[ I guess if worst comes to worst, I can watch it online.
Then I helped Mom and Dad pick weeds outside. We turned on the outside radio, and it made things seem to go a little faster. Around 11:00, we started to get hungry, so I went inside and made sandwiches. And so I guess since noon, I've been in my room, checking MySpace, talking to Kevin, and sorting through messages. I deleted all of the hundreds of pages that were full of messages from a "This profile no longer exists" ... which I can only guess were messages from Mandy all of those, well, months ago.
And it's making me think, also making me cry. Not full on breaking down and losing control. I just can't believe we're not friends anymore. I guess, to me, it would be like if Kevin and I broke up. It would just be...weird, and it would take forever for me to get back on my feet. She was as important to me as Kevin is now. It's just so ... weird that we're not friends. And I know it's been months (and months and months) that we haven't been friends. And longer still that we haven't seen each other. But I can't help but miss her sometimes.

Anyway, I still don't feel good, and I think I still have some Nyquil in my system. So I'm going to go take a nap.

-Lindsay

School and Work.

It's been a long week. I went to work on Monday and Tuesday, but stayed home on Wednesday and Thursday, due to being sick. My throat and head hurt, but I think it was only because my allergies have been so bad lately.

For now, though, all of that has passed. The only downside is that I cannot, for the life of me, breathe through my nose!

For the last week, I've been trying to come up with a brilliant plan for mine and Kevin's three year anniversary, which is coming up in TEN DAYS! Mom suggested a few things, and I think I'm going to try to do them. Kevin needs some new clothes (some NICER clothes) so we went to Southlake last night. I asked him where he wanted to shop because I wanted to buy him something. He suggested American Eagle, and he tried on some jeans and a shirt that I picked out for him. I didn't like the jeans, but oh my God, that shirt? Was hot. It's a nice shirt; long-sleeve, black, button-down. He looked so good in it, I just HAD to buy it for him! Lol.

I think I may take him out to eat for supper. Maybe Italian Bistro- I don't know...I don't have a lot of money right now. I wanted to to make last year's restaurant a traditon (the Campania's Pizza and More) and foot the bill there. But I don't think I'll have enough money. :-/

Anyway, tonight I'm spending the night with Cassie :] I'm excited! Katie wants a job with Mary Kay, and we're doing facials tonight :] Tomorrow, I'll be going to church with them, then to Cassie and Katie's apartment at TWU with the rest of the college class at their church. I'm pretty excited :] But I'm also scared that I won't be able to stay awake for very long tonight. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, as I kept sneezing, which led to the unfortunate fact of not being able to breathe again. Also, I'm afraid I might sneeze tonight while doing facials :-/ that will not be good.

Oh! And I got my grade back for my Hitler paper that I complained so much about! I MADE A 94!!!!!! I'm SO happy, and I hope that this will help my grade in History.

Well, that's all so far!

-Lindsay

Promises, promises.

Oh jeez. It's been what, 9 days since I last posted? I'm so sorry!!!
Things have been completely wacky this last week, and I haven't had time to drop by.
I promise that within the next few days, though, I'll have a new blog!

Keep reading!

-Lindsay

April Fools!

I stayed home yesterday because I woke up too late to have any hope of getting ready for work in time. So my dad left and I ate breakfast. I watched Becoming Jane, which is my new favorite movie. I watched 7th Heaven and Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. I tried to work on my english paper, but it didn't work out until later. Cassie called me and we chatted about our days and this weekend- we're planning a sleepover. :]

My mom came home from her trip in North Carolina last night. Her plane came in at 5:30, so Dad closed up the shop early and went to go get her. I baked some oatmeal cookies for her arrival home :] She said that she would try to be home by 7:00 so we could watch American Idol - she and Dad went out to eat last night after he picked her up from the airport. But they walked in at around 7:30, and I attacked her and hugged her neck; I missed her sooo much!

Good thing we have the DVR, so we can record shows and watch them at our convenience! So I got it set up so we could watch American Idol and we watched it. Come to find out, it only lasted for an hour and a half instead of two hours- BUMMER. But it was fun, anyway.
The show itself wasn't as amazing as I thought it would be, honestly. The theme of the night was any song that has been number one on the charts on iTunes. So Mom and I thought it would be this amazing show with current songs. But half of them chose songs from the 1970's. And half of them...didn't do so great.
But Danny did great, and that's all that matters :]

Anywho- I had my conference with my english teacher last night. It was at 9:30, but didn't start until 9:40. It lasted...until 10:05. Five minutes into it, I really wanted to throw my laptop across the room. Seriously. I sent Cassie a text message that said exactly that. Seriously. The whole conference was 25 minutes of my teacher telling me how bad I am at writing essays. Which, come on, I know that. But you don't have to SAY that.
All I know is- THANK GOD I don't want to write essays and poetry for a living. I just want to write about a girl's experience in high school. With a twist. You know, like Meg. Jeez.

Now I'm at The School Zone. I'm bored as heck, and I'm waiting for a response from Kevin on MySpace. Seems he logged off, though, after he asked ME to talk to HIM. The nerve!

So now I believe I am forced to write my paper for history. Which I pray I make an "A" on because in all honesty, I think I'm failing history :-/

Love,
-Lindsay

I'm Upset.

Okay so basically, this is going to be a HUGE rant about things that I'm upset about. So bear with me for a few minutes. If you're not interested, wait a few days, I'll have a new blog :]

So number one:
I'm upset about last night's episode of American Idol. From the very beginning, my mom and I liked Michael Sarver. You know, the guy with the "fifth most dangerous job in the world"? Okay, so he was this good guy with this country accent (sort of) and loved country music. I liked him. No, he wasn't the best singer, but he wasn't the worst either. I'm not going to say who I think should've gone home last night. *CoughMeganJoyCough* I mean, this person is possibly the cutest person ever. But let me just say that they better go home next week.

Number two:
I'm upset that Kyle XY isn't going to have anymore shows. Nope, they just had the SERIES finale a couple of weeks ago. I LOVE this show. It had an actual story; an actual point. It had good actors that were easy to relate to and easy to fall in love with. (Not to mention Matt Dallas is a hottie.) The story got deeper and better each season, and by the end, I could relate to the pain, the tears, and the happiness. I wanted certain things to happen. And the series finale? Sucked. Really, what kind of show is so cruel to have the world's cutest couple on it, break them up, make the audience think they were going to get back together, and then leave you hanging on THE LAST EPISODE EVER? How rude! And it only had THREE seasons!! How dumb is that?

Anyway, I guess that's all I'm upset about.
Except for the fact that I can barely see out of my left eye, due to allergies.
And that I can't breathe out of my nose, also due to allergies.

But other than that, gee, I love spring!

Anywho, I'll be back later :]

-Lindsay

Possibly the Longest Day EVER.

This morning, my dad woke me up at 9:20. I guess I slept through my alarm :-/
I woke up, got ready to go, scanned the pantry for our new Banana Nut Cheerios that my mom bought yesterday, and after figuring out that she must have taken the box to school with her, I settled on a cup of coffee.

It's been possibly the longest day ever. I mean, it's not even 3:30 yet, and I get off at 6:00. Which is in over two hours :[

I spent some time with Courtney on Sunday; we went to Southlake at around 3:00. We went to Charming Charlie's- I bought a pair of reading glasses and a pair of sunglasses. I think I'm going to take both of them back next weekend. I guess maybe I was having a blonde moment when I bought them. I can't fully see through the reading glasses and the sunglasses are cute and all, but they have the little prescription lenses in them that they so cleverly covered up with stickers. So I didn't know the sunglasses had those in there until AFTER I took off the stickers when I got them home.
Anyway, then we went to Victoria's Secret. I finally got to spend half of my gift card that I got for Christmas. They were having a "7 for $25" sale on panties. Hello!
We walked through other stores like Delia's, then we went to Starbucks and got some drinks. We sat down and people watched and took pictures :D
She got a call, and decided to drop me off at home at around 6:00.
I had fun with her :]

Oh yeah! She works at Hastings in Stephenville, so she bought me Twilight, and I paid her back when she gave it to me. I watched it twice yesterday (once with my dad at work, then with my mom when we got home.)
Then I'm probably going to Kevin's tonight, and he told me to bring the movie. So I'm excited to watch it again!!

Anyway, I thought this would pass the time a little better.
I mean, I have a history paper to write that's over HITLER. Hooray. Not.
Then, I have an english paper to write that's over exile in previous readings.
The history paper is due in a few weeks, so I'm working on the english paper for now.

But it's STILL not 3:30 yet.

Ugh.
I'll be back soon!

-Lindsay

Jaws Marathon!

Yesterday was a boring day. I woke up too early and tried (and failed) to take a nap. Between the dog barking next door and the construction going on outside our house, I couldn't win.

I finally went down the hall and ate lunch with my mom (it was 1:00, after all) and we watched TV and talked. After a while, I decided that I better get some studying done for my history test that's, um, on Monday. I plopped down by the kitchen counter and opened up my boring, humongous history book. I stared at it for a while and my head started to hurt. My dad got home at around 4:30, so I went in my room to continue working on my history review. I made some progress as now I am on page four of the review, as opposed to page two. Yeah, there's ten pages... Anyway, I signed onto AIM, and Cassie started talking to me. We told each other about our days, then she mentioned that she was bored. I conquered, saying I was bored as well.

She then asked if I would like to come over for a few hours.
I lept out of bed and ran down the hall to ask my parents. They said it was okay, and Cassie was on her way to pick me up.
We lounged around at her house, and watched the end of the first Jaws movie. Cassie started to talk about wanting to have a Jaws marathon and asked how long I could stay over...which turned in to, "Why don't you just spend the night?" She took me home and I asked my parents if I could, because I had to work today. My dad agreed to just pick me up this morning and take me out to The School Zone before 10:00. So I packed a bag to stay over at Cassie's, and once we got over to her house, we watched Jaws 3-D (which is the third Jaws) and Jaws: The Revenge (the fourth Jaws.) The second Jaws movie wasn't playing on the movie channel, so we didn't watch that. It was quite entertaining; Cassie's mom had her laptop propped up and kept looking up fun facts on the internet about the Jaws movies (which possibly all got the worst ratings of all eternity.) In Jaws: The Revenge, Cassie just fast-forwarded to all the "good parts" ... meaning, the parts where someone died by being eaten by the shark.

We finally made it up the stairs at around 1:30, carrying a dead-asleep pug. She slept with us (Cassie's pug, Scully) the whole night. Well, she slept with me, and she snored, and she kicked, and she cuddled, and she licked, and she coughed, and she walked around the bed. Given, she's still a puppy, and still really little...just not as little as she thinks she is. And not as quiet as she thinks she is, apparently.

Anyway, I'm at the shop now, and I've arleady had one customer! Woo-hoo! I definitely need more customers...

Tonight, Cassie's church is having a get-together with all of the church members (and friends). It's called Pulse, and it's at 7:00-9:00 tonight. I'm hoping I can go; Kevin wants to go too, and said we could go together. I'm excited!

Anyway, as I didn't finish the history review yesterday, I need to get to work on that.

-Lindsay

Definitely, Maybe

Kevin went to the doctor yesterday and was given a prescription for a simple anti-inflamatory. The doctor told him that if he's not 80 percent better in two weeks' time, then he should go back to to see the doctor. Um, I'm sorry...80 percent? What happened to 100 percent?

Anyway, I'm really worried about Kevin. He just seems to be hurting all the time, and I hate to see him in pain.

He came over last night after we had an argument that we seem to be having a lot. He's out of a job right now, so I'm the only one that has any money to go around. Last night, I wanted to go to Grapevine Mills Mall, and he said he didn't have enough gas to get there and back to my house, since it's about a 30-minute drive. I offered to pay for gas, but as the argument always goes, he feels as if he is the man, and needs to pay for all things. Yeah. Okay.

He did, though, have enough gas to come to my house. We (my parents, Kevin, and I) ate supper, and then my parents went outside. The other day, my parents and I went to Lowe's, then to Home Depot, then back to Lowe's, and bought a swing for outside. It's called a Hammock/Swing, and it lays down- it's pretty dang cool. Long story short, we put it in our back yard, and for the past few nights, they've wanted to go out there and lay down.

While I was flipping through the channels on the television, I remembered that I had some movies recorded; I had taped Definitely, Maybe a couple of months ago, and told Kevin this. He agreed to watch it with me, but only because it had some guy humor in it, too. Plus, we saw it together on Valentine's Day last year. So it's one of our favorite movies.

All in all, it was a great night. He left a little after 10:00, which was probably for the best because I was so tired, and had taken a Benadryl for my allergies an hour before.

Today's just been a lazy day, honestly. I mean, I woke up at 9:30, my dad went to work, I ate breakfast, and then I took a nap. I've decided to join the club and opened my windows last night to let the cool breeze come through. And I heard EVERYTHING last night and today while I was trying to sleep; dogs, trains, cars driving by at 3a.m. Good times, good times.

Crazy Days.

Today was...strange.

Last night, I stayed up late. I just HAD to watch the episode of Secret Life of the American Teenager. Which, sadly, I am obsessed with. I finally fell asleep around 11:00.



My alarm went off at 8:00 this morning, and I swear I pushed the snooze button. I rolled over, and apparently, I fell back asleep because I was woken up by my phone ringing. It was my boyfriend, and when I asked him what time it was, he said it was 9:30. CRAP! I mean, The School Zone opens at 10:00am! There was absolutely NO way for me to get ready in 15 minutes. Because honestly, it takes about 15 minutes to get to the shop. So I talked to Kevin, then stretched and yawned and rolled out of bed. My mom was in her room reading a book, so I hugged her neck and told her good morning.

I went in the kitchen and had some chocolate pop tarts. Yum! I called Dad and asked him why I didn't have to work today, and he said that he didn't need me. I mean, after all, it IS Spring Break, and teachers simply do not care to buy school stuff while on vacation.



Kevin had said that he needed to get to school (he doesn't have Spring Break this week), and school started at 10:00 this morning. So he was on his way. Or so I thought. I was chewing my last bite of pop tart and getting seriously intrigued with Monday night's episode of Kyle XY (which I have also become obsessed with. And yeah, I'm SO upset that it was the last episode ever. But that's a different story.), and I heard three taps. I didn't know where the noise came from, and my dog, Maggie, was sitting by the front door. Once there was a noise, she got up and started to wag her tail. Mom had left the front door open, but not the screen door. Come to find out, Kevin was standing on my front porch at 10:00 this morning, tapping on the screen door.



Which was so sweet, and all. But I mean, I was in my pajama shorts with my hair in a pony tail and no makeup on. Don't get me wrong, I completely loved the fact that he wanted to surprise me, so he lied about having school this morning. Just for me. *sniff*

Okay, so it really didn't matter that I wasn't 100% presentable; I loved seeing him that early this morning. Because honestly, that's early for him. :D



He left because he needed to make a doctor's appointment - something's wrong with his shoulders :( - so he left me in my pajamas after watching Kyle XY with me.



Mom is doing a project out in the yard (garden-wise), so we went out to Home Depot to get bricks to go around the gardening beds and plant soil for the flowers. Then we came home, and I made grilled cheeses for the two of us. While eating lunch, we watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Which is, yeah, the most amazing show ever. :D

I got a call from Kevin at around 3:00, and he asked if I wanted to tag along with the family for a St. Patrick's Day get-together at his Grandma Jones' house. I said yes, pulled on my green shirt (for fear of getting pinched by those from Scotland), and waited patiently for Kevin to arrive at my house. When the family got to my house, his brother, Kyle, was driving, his mom was in the passenger seat, so Kevin and I were stuck in the back seat....with Janelle, the family dog.

We got to Grandma Jones' house at around 3:45, and we just visited with the family. We played Wii and played with the new dog, Stewart (Or maybe it's Stuart. Who knows?) -- who is, by the way, the cutest little thing I've ever seen; he can fit in the palm of my hand! -- Come to find out, they didn't even know that the "kids" were coming. They planned on making corn beef and cabbage for supper, and Kevin, Kyle, and I turned up our noses at that. We all left with Ann, Kevin's mom, to go find something else to eat. Kyle left us because he had company coming over, so the three of us (Kevin, Ann, and I) went out to Chili's for supper. We thought we were going back over to Grandma's house, but for some reason, decided not to. :(

We went back to their house, Ann watched American Idol (I wanted to wait, as it is mine and my mom's show), and Kevin and I watched Heroes. We finally finished the second season!! Yay!! Now I can't wait for the third season to come out on DVD so I can catch up! It was a lot of fun just sitting with Kevin. Spending time with him is fun :D
I told my dad I would be home at 10:30, so we left a little after 10:00 so I wouldn't be late. We walked outside, and the sky was as clear as it could be. One of the things we do is look up at the sky at nighttime to see how the pretty the stars are. I wanted him to be cute and walk out the door and just stand there with me to stare at the night sky. But no, he kept walking to his car, his head down, and his car keys in his hand. He got all the way to his car before he realized that I was still standing by the door, looking up at the sky. He told me to come over by him, so I sighed, and walked to the car. He was standing behind his car, by the trunk, and motioned for me to go over by him. So I did, and he picked me up (which probably wasn't good for his shoulders) and placed me on the trunk of his car. He held me there, and we gazed up at the stars for a few silent minutes. Then he picked me back up (still! Shoulders! Ow!) and placed me on the ground, and he drove me home.

I didn't get home until just a few minutes ago, and I'm not really tired.
It was interesting night, that's for sure.

Happy Crying.

I’m about to go to sleep, and I haven’t done a “Random Thought Before Going to Bed” in a few days. And I was having some random thoughts, so I thought I’d turn on the ol’ laptop and give my two cents. This one is about Kevin.

Coming this April will be our three year anniversary. I am SO excited about this, I can’t even begin to explain how excited I am.

And I mean, it may be completely lame because, well, I’m twenty years old, and I want to celebrate the day that he asked me to be his girlfriend. But maybe lame is my style.

I’ve come to the point where I’m so overwhelmed with love, it’s not even funny. I’ve never felt this way about another person in my life. Sure, I’ve had boyfriends in the past, and no offense to any of them, but it’s just not the same as it is with Kevin. And of course we have our bad days in our relationship, but the good days are beginning to outnumber the bad ones.

I’m beginning to be lovey-dovey with him all over again. Kind of like how he was when we first started dating, and it scared me away from him. I smile every time I see him and every time his name comes up on my cell phone. It is exactly like high school all over again. I get butterflies in my stomach when he smiles. I try my hardest not to be a complete dork around him. I dress up for him; I color my hair for him. In other words…I’m falling for him all over again.

He doesn’t even have to be in the same room, or even in the same town, and I get that goofy feeling in the pit of my stomach that was supposed to fade away two years ago. Maybe that feeling will never go away now since it hasn’t gone away yet.

I think of him all the time, and the things I think about make me smile to myself. Some things make me laugh out loud. Some things make me cry—but it’s a good cry! It’s a cry that means, “I miss the old times and I’ll never forget them. But I’m excited to make new memories that I can miss one day.” If that makes any sense at all.

I’m just so afraid that I will be so overly dramatic and too much into the lovey-dovey stuff that one day he’ll look at me and say, “Whoa. Back up,” and walk out of my life forever. I mean, I’m always afraid of that day when he realizes that he can have so much better than me. I’ve always been told that I deserve the best because I’m a Laird. That’s what I grew up with; that I AM the best. But I don’t feel like I am, or that I’m giving Kevin everything I can possibly give him to make him happy. Because that’s important to me: seeing him smile and knowing that it was me that put that smile on his face.I never knew that someone could love me THIS much. I never knew that I could be THIS important to someone. And I never knew that someone would stick around with me for this long, possibly forever. I’m beginning to thank my lucky stars that I have him in my life and that we’ve learned to love through the hard days.

Anyway, I’m going to bed now :]

-Lindsay

Butterfly Chair.

Today has been a loooong day. I went to work, like most days, but today was just ... off. I felt exhausted after exerting almost no energy. Seriously. Like, I would take about two steps, and my heart would begin to beat faster. I finally had to go to the back room and take a small nap. I'm not sure how long I was back there for, but I felt a little bit better afterwards.

I felt bad because Kevin wanted to hang out tonight, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell him that I was feeling up to it...because I wasn't. Up for hanging out, I mean. I think it was the sudden heatwave Texas decided to have today. It just knocked me out and made me so sleepy! Man, that makes me sound like a weenie.

After hearing Kev's fun escapade at the dentist's office today, I really wanted to hang out with him, too. He called me and couldn't even talk properly. :[ Poor Kev! The dentist had given him shots in his mouth to numb the whole right side and then drilled his teeth until they just couldn't drill anymore. I just want to be there with him when things like this happen. Because honestly, I'd want him there if I had to go through that. It just gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. Getting shots in my mouth, I mean.

I'm feeling a tad better, though. I mean, my stomach still hurts and I still have some body aches, and that spaghetti we had for supper definitely didn't help my heartburn any...but other than that, I'm in great shape! Maybe (hopefully) tomorrow, I can see Kevin. It being Friday night tomorrow night, maybe we'll be able to go out, have some supper, see a movie, and just have fun. And I won't have to come in as early as I would have to on a week night. I only choose to come home early for the most part on most days because, well, if I didn't, I'd be a zombie woman the next day.

Except, crap, my dad asked if I could work on Saturday.
So maybe I won't stay out as late as I want to with Kevin.

Um, American Idol was pretty much AMAZING tonight, by the way.

I like:
-Danny Gokey
-Adam Lambert
-Allison Iraheta
-Alexis Grace
and
-Lil Rounds
and I mean, of course I like Scott, the blind guy. :D

Goodnight!

Cuddled in Bed.

Kevin's right, you know. I can't go to bed until I post my "Random Thoughts Before Going to Bed" post for today.
So here I go:
As I was watching American Idol with my mom tonight, as I do every week, she got a phone call from her sister. They're seriously like best friends. When my mom talks to her, she laughs out loud so many times. She cries when her sister is sad; she yells when she is mad.

They were talking about holding grudges, and how my mom grew up in a home where it was necessary to hold grudges for long periods of time. She said how she'll get in an argument with someone, and be angry for days, and that drove my dad crazy. My dad has learned how to keep his temper under control (for the most part) and thinks life is too short to hold grudges.

I began to think about it while she was on the phone. I thought how, in some ways, Kevin is exactly like my mom. I mean, he'll hold a grudge for YEARS if you let him. Honestly, I think he has at least one that he's held for six years. I am lucky enough to never have seen him as mad as he said he once was. I, on the other hand, do not really hold grudges. I'm just not that kind of person, and began to wonder last night why, if I'm so much like my mom with a lot of things, am I not like her with this circumstance? If anything, I'm more like my dad with this. Other than I think I've been angry with Mandy for a year for just ignoring me for no apparent reason. (Mandy is my ex-best friend, for those of you who don't know.) I have my days where I hate her so much. But I also have my days where I'm thankful that it happened because I don't think I would be the person I am today if it hadn't have happened. Seriously...I think this experience of losing my BEST FRIEND has opened my eyes; has made me stronger in some ways. I've begun to be thankful for those people around me who love me and who have loved me through the tough times.

Anyway, I haven't been feeling well today. My stomach hurts and I have body aches again. I thought that would all go away. It has gotten better, it just hasn't gone away yet.

I'm going to go to bed.

Goodnight!

Wacky Weekend.

This past week has been wacky...and it's only Wednesday.

Besides stressing out SO MUCH about having to finish my English paper (over the Bible) and my History paper (over black rights), I had a GREAT weekend. I finished my papers on Sunday, thank God!

I spent the night with Cassie on Friday night :] We watched "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" Friday night, and we began to get a little...weird around 11:00. We got really, really sleepy, so we had to hit the hay. I needed this girl's night, though...I've been having an episode of "I hate doing the same thing every day."
We woke up the next morning at 9:00, and ate breakfast with the family. We went back upstairs, and watched "The Grudge" and "The Grudge 2." Cassie watched the second one from behind either her hand or her pillow. :]

I went home at around 5:00 on Saturday, after watching "Lucky You" :] I had a WONDERFUL time with her, as I always do :]

The rest of the day, I worked on my papers, and talked to friends. I honestly didn't do much. On Sunday, I stayed home and continued to work on my papers. Kevin called me at around 7:30 and while he was on the phone with his mom, she said that she was with her mom. So Kevin asked if we could go, and she said yes. He picked me up by 8:00, and we arrived at Grandma Jones' house....which was FULL of people! They were having some birthday party for a couple of friends that Kevin and I had no idea that was what we were getting ourselves into. But everyone liked seeing us, and I didn't know half of the people there, them only being friends of the family. I enjoyed seeing new faces and meeting new people, though. That's for sure. Kevin and I watched (not to mention laughed) at the older people learning how to play Wii bowling. After a while, they didn't even allow us to play!
I told my parents I would be home at 9:30, so Kevin took me home. I was a little late, but my parents were already asleep...

Now, I have proclaimed Monday nights mine and Kevin's night to "hang out" ... which means we just watch a crap load of movies at his house, or something. The reasoning for this is...I hate Mondays, and this seemed like a good way to make them better. This past Monday, Kevin came over to our house. We watched The Big Bang Theory, and ate burgers and Rotel- my dad's supper that he makes to make Kevin happy. After a while, we began to play Wii. I watched for a while, and played a few games myself.
Dad went down the hall at around 10:00, and Kevin stayed until 11:00. We had a great time :D

Anyway, I have some English homework to do- I have to read Beowulf and then write a paper over it. Good times, good times. Not.

Bye :]

In My Room.

Today's been a long day, and right now, I can hardly keep my eyes open. I just kind of thought of this randomly... Okay...let me explain.

At work today, Dad and I were finishing up a GINORMOUS order that came in yesterday. We STILL did not finish it...but that's not the point. Before we started, Dad left, and ran some catalogs to schools so they could look through them and possibly order stuff from us. So I got online while he was gone, and I began to read old myspace messages from Kevin. Which is one of my favorite things to do. Because I'm a hopeless romantic and his old messages were adorable.

When Dad got back, we started on the order again. We took about an hour, and then took a break for lunch. We watched the last episode of the first season of Heroes (because Kevin has so kindly lent us his Christmas present :] ). Afterwards, we got back to work again. We worked until 4:30. Yeah. That's over five hours all together working today. Which, I mean, we've done this before, and I'm not trying to sound lazy or like a weenie...but dear lord, my shoulders hurt.

Dad left again at around 4:30, and I got back on the internet. I began to read (again) through old e-mails and messages from Kevin. They (the messages) talked about his baptism, his parents, his brothers, our first date, our first week as a couple together, our likes and dislikes, our hopes and dreams, and really just kind of "getting to know each other" messages. You know, the awkward, "Hey I like you" messages that turn into, "Hey, I think I love you" messages? Yeah...those.

As I said before, reading through our old messages is the best. I mean...thinking about how we actually met and started dating in HIGH SCHOOL? It's CRAZY.

He was so adorable in those messages. And when I say "used to" ... I mean he doesn't "use myspace anymore, so he can't send me adorable messages anymore :[ "Anyway, I'm going to start doing this as much as I possibly can. The "Random Thoughts Before Going to Bed" posts, I mean.

So I hope you'll stop by and read them every once and a while.

Comments are appreciated :]

-Lindsay

Possibly the Worst Movie Ever.

So basically I had an amazing weekend.

I'm sorry that I haven't written in about...a month now. But I've been impossibly busy with the end of my first semester (which I later found out that I PASSED ALGEBRA!!!!), Christmas, and my birthday.

For as long as I can remember, I've always allowed the entire week that my birthday was in to be my birthday week. So, let's start out with last Friday. Not three days ago, more like...a week and a half ago.

I had a sleepover with my two best friends: Courtney and Cassie. Cassie came over first, and we began to watch The Others, because I had never in my life seen that movie. We watched it for about five minutes, then became consumed with conversation, as this happens frequently. About an hour later, Courtney showed up at my front door.

We started to watch the movie again, and finally finished it by about...2:00 in the morning. And can I just say...it was the worst movie ever. If you haven't seen it...don't waste your time. And sorry to those of you who love this movie. But um, it totally sucks.

I mean, really? They were afraid of the dead people, and they found out their housekeepers were dead...and then they found out they themselves were dead? Excuse me, but what the crap is that about?

And Cassie told us about this part that we had to laugh at about four minutes before it came on. The main character's (played by Nicole Kidman) husband went to war and never came back, and apparently died. So he's walking through all of the fog (which is never a good sign in scary movies) and she meets him (after swearing she was too afraid to go outside) in the fog, and she's all, "Thank God you're okay!" and he replies, so brilliantly, "Sometimes I bleed," in this thick english accent, and it's HIGHlarious.<-- I totally stole that from Forever Princess :]

ANYWAY.

I mean honestly, she not only begins to tell her children how she smuggled them to death with, um, their pillows? But then she tells them how she killed HERSELF because she was so overcome with morose and guilt from killing her own children.

Yeah. Because that's the stuff that makes a wonderful movie. Not.

So anyway, my friends and I stayed up until 4:00 in the morning...talking. Because we're girls and that's just how we roll. And then we went to bed. We woke up at 9:30 the next morning and saw Twilight :] - This was my second time to have seen it. And amazingly, Courtney loved it. Why is this so amazing? Well, the child hates Harry Potter, so I mean...really.

We walked around, and after Cassie was harrassed by a four-year-old, we left Southlake because they had to get home.

Let's see...Tuesday night, I had a family get-together that honestly lasted for about an hour. I mean, it was horrible. A couple of people showed up, and waited for everyone ELSE to show up, and then they talked and ate cake and ice cream and watched me open two presents and then they LEFT. Because...it was -- OH NO -- about 8:00 and totally past their bedtimes. But I mean, the cake was delicious (kudos to my dad) and I had fun with my parents and my sister...

Wednesday was my actual birthday. Dad took me out on the town :] We took the day off of work, and he took me to The Cheesecake Factory. YUM. We ordered pasta and cheesecake, and I swear I gained about 5 or more pounds. We saw Seven Pounds (with Will Smith) afterwards. And I mean...it was okay. Okay let me tell you about this movie. Basically, he starts to meet people over a span of, what, two months? And he asks them questions and tries to see if they are really and truly good people at heart. He meets a blind guy and makes fun of him. He meets a girl and falls in love with her whose heart is failing. He meets this nice old lady whose...liver? is failing. So at the end of the movie...he takes a really really cold bath and commits suicide, and all of his organs are salvaged because of that cold bath he took to kill himself in. So the girl gets his heart, the old lady gets the liver, and the guy gets his eyes. So the girlfriend finds out about it in the end, and walks up to the not-anymore-blind guy, and looks into his eyes and begins to cry, because...they were her boyfriend's eyes! It wasn't a BAD movie, I just didn't really get the point.

So after the movie, we walked around Southlake for a while. I bought some books and Dad bought me a book, too.

Kevin picked me up at our house at around 5:00, and he took me to P.F. Changs. He had made a reservation at 6:00, but we got there a little late, due to traffic and...lack of knowing where the restaurant was. But we finally found it, and I basically watched him eat because my pasta was horrible. It was too spicy and the noodles didn't have any flavor.

We went to Grapevine Mills afterwards, and he took me to see Twilight. He LOVED the movie. Which was so adorable because...all of the romance and whatnot. When he took me home, we sat in his car for about forty minutes, talking about Twilight. He wanted to know EVERYTHING there was to know about Twilight, and he's even excited about New Moon! Go Kev!

Oh and,

He Went To James Avery :]

I know it's blurry.

But isn't it adorable?

I've been wanting him to get me a charm bracelet for forever.

On Saturday, I had a Mother/Daughter day since I didn't get to see her much on Wednesday. We went back out to Mills, and we walked around. We stopped for lunch at The Corner Bakery, and people-watched. :] My favorite pasttime.

She took me to go see Twilight (shut up!) and SHE loved it, too!!! She wanted to see it, too! She's been reading the books. I have amazing friends and family, I know.

I had a GREAT day with my mom. I miss those days, and love it when I get to have them.

Last night, Kevin took me out to the movies. We went to Tinseltown (we went there for our first date almost three years ago) - (hold your "awww"s until the end) and ate pizza. We saw Bedtime Stories with Adam Sandler because we both wanted to see it.

I LOVED this movie, despite all of the negative reviews it was getting. I laughed so hard, and it ended wonderfully.

And hey!

Isn't that Uncle Vernon?

<--------------

\Anyway, after that, Kevin and I played games in the arcade, so conveniently placed in the theater. We played air hockey and basketball, which I so horribly lost both. Isn't he supposed to let me win? I mean, what's the deal?

We then saw Unborn.

Um yeah. Crappiest. Movie. EVER.

I mean, yeah it was creepy and scary and ... gross. But honestly, the point?

Okay. This girl has a pretty normal life, it seems. Then her friend notices something is wrong with her eye, and is like, "Dude, what's wrong with your eye?" So she goes to check it out at the eye doctor. He asks her if she has a twin, and she says no. Then she goes to the place where her dad works, and he kindly excuses himself from his very important meeting, and while all of us in the audience are waiting for him to go "WHAT DO YOU WANT? I was in a VERY important meeting!" (or maybe I was the only one waiting for that) he just goes, "What's wrong, sweetheart?" Yeah.

She asks if she has a twin, and he's like, "You did, but he died in the womb because of the umbilical cord that wrapped around his throat and suffocated him to death." And she's like, "MY umbilical cord?" and totally starts to cry.

And then this little boy begins to haunt her, and she thinks it's HER BROTHER WHO DIED IN THE WOMB what, a month into the pregnancy? So the little boy wouldn't be about 8 years old if it was her brother...

But it drove her mother to insanity that her son had died, so she hung herself in the hospital.

And then she meets her grandmother for the first time, and she had a twin herself. Who died. And the grandmother tried to kill the spirit. But it didn't work.

So basically the grandmother's dead twin is haunting the girl.

Then they have an exorcism, and it kills her boyfriend. Along with everyone else...except for the Rabi, because he "believes"...

But they got rid of the creepy little boy. Who was totally like The Grudge, with that noise that kept erupting from him. And the way his mouth sometimes dangled to one side.

But honestly, it was disgusting. And actually sort of funny.

I mean, what was the deal with that dog?

Okay fine. I can't find a picture of the stupid dog. But really, his head was twisted upside-down on his neck!! I actually LAUGHED.

And those bugs?

Gross.

Seriously. What did that movie have to do with BUGS?

And honestly, the whole time I was sitting in the theater, watching this girl's boyfriend, I kept saying in my head "You brought a snack." Which, you'd understand only if you've seen Twilight :]

So ... that was my week.

And it was pretty much AH-mazing.

Love

-Lindsay